Saturday, January 29, 2005
Oh no, not the sandwiches!!!
Well, this time they did it! Sandwiches with nut butter and jelly are patented.
Not just one patent, not just a second patent, but there was actually a patent resubmission.
And the from the USPTO patent text for the most recent one, I quote:
"Nut butter and jelly food slices are provided. They preferably include a first layer of jelly and a second layer of jelly disposed in contacting relationship with the first layer of jelly. The first and second layers of jelly cooperate to define a hollow region therebetween. A volume of nut butter is placed within the hollow region, and is thereby totally encapsulated between the first and second layers of jelly. Also provided is a method and apparatus for making nut butter and jelly slices. Finally, a jelly slice dimensioned to fit on a food substrate and jelly suitable for making jelly slices or nut butter and jelly slices are provided. The jelly slices and the nut butter and jelly slices may be individually wrapped in flexible coverings and packaged in a single food container."
Oh, c'mon!!!
Not just one patent, not just a second patent, but there was actually a patent resubmission.
And the from the USPTO patent text for the most recent one, I quote:
"Nut butter and jelly food slices are provided. They preferably include a first layer of jelly and a second layer of jelly disposed in contacting relationship with the first layer of jelly. The first and second layers of jelly cooperate to define a hollow region therebetween. A volume of nut butter is placed within the hollow region, and is thereby totally encapsulated between the first and second layers of jelly. Also provided is a method and apparatus for making nut butter and jelly slices. Finally, a jelly slice dimensioned to fit on a food substrate and jelly suitable for making jelly slices or nut butter and jelly slices are provided. The jelly slices and the nut butter and jelly slices may be individually wrapped in flexible coverings and packaged in a single food container."
Oh, c'mon!!!
Sunday, January 23, 2005
Children, beware!
You know how 5 year-old children like swings, right? There are even parks spread throughout most cities, that will satisfy their apettite for swinging.
Well, know that many of those 5 year old are probably infringing a patent regarding a "method for swinging on a swinger". There are rumours that this patent was granted to a 5 year old.
And from the USPTO patent text, I quote:
"A method of swing on a swing is disclosed, in which a user positioned on a standard swing suspended by two chains from a substantially horizontal tree branch induces side to side motion by pulling alternately on one chain and then the other."
Oh boy.
Well, know that many of those 5 year old are probably infringing a patent regarding a "method for swinging on a swinger". There are rumours that this patent was granted to a 5 year old.
And from the USPTO patent text, I quote:
"A method of swing on a swing is disclosed, in which a user positioned on a standard swing suspended by two chains from a substantially horizontal tree branch induces side to side motion by pulling alternately on one chain and then the other."
Oh boy.
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
Playing with cats
If you ever used one of those small laser devices to play with your cat... know that you might be infringing on a patent.
Directly from the USPTO patent grant, I quote:
"A method for inducing cats to exercise consists of directing a beam of invisible light produced by a hand-held laser apparatus onto the floor or wall or other opaque surface in the vicinity of the cat, then moving the laser so as to cause the bright pattern of light to move in an irregular way fascinating to cats, and to any other animal with a chase instinct."
Well, meow.
Directly from the USPTO patent grant, I quote:
"A method for inducing cats to exercise consists of directing a beam of invisible light produced by a hand-held laser apparatus onto the floor or wall or other opaque surface in the vicinity of the cat, then moving the laser so as to cause the bright pattern of light to move in an irregular way fascinating to cats, and to any other animal with a chase instinct."
Well, meow.
Thursday, January 13, 2005
No rest for baldness!
Some people hate being bald. Some couldn't care less. And yet some will try to undo that (perfectly natural) condition by means of carefully styling the last remnants of their hairy population.
Well, if you are one of those people, tremble and shiver. Chances are that the method you so carefully perfected in front of the mirror is patented.
Directly from the USPTO patent grant, I quote:
"A method of styling hair to cover partial baldness using only the hair on a person's head. The hair styling requires dividing a person's hair into three sections and carefully folding one section over another."
Another round of applause for the patents system please. :)
Well, if you are one of those people, tremble and shiver. Chances are that the method you so carefully perfected in front of the mirror is patented.
Directly from the USPTO patent grant, I quote:
"A method of styling hair to cover partial baldness using only the hair on a person's head. The hair styling requires dividing a person's hair into three sections and carefully folding one section over another."
Another round of applause for the patents system please. :)
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
Something more serious
You'll probably have noticed by now, that I find humour in the patents system (well doh!). I recently came across a piece of a text from legal proceedings over 1 century ago, which I really found interesting. Feel free to skip it. :)
I cite Atlantic Works vs Brady, 1882.
"It was never the object of patent laws to grant a monopoly for every trifling device, every shadow of a shade of an idea, which would naturally and spontaneously occur to any skilled mechanic or operator in the ordinary progress of manufactures. Such an indiscriminate creation of exclusive privileges tends rather to obstruct than to stimulate invention. It creates a class of speculative schemers who make it their business to watch the advancing wave of improvement, and gather its foam in the form of patented monopolies, which enable them to lay a heavy tax on the industry of the country, without contributing anything to the real advancement of the arts. It embarrasses the honest pursuit of business with fears and apprehensions of unknown liability lawsuits and vexatious accounting for profits made in good faith."
Now, if only big corporations (and the US Patent Office) understood it...
I cite Atlantic Works vs Brady, 1882.
"It was never the object of patent laws to grant a monopoly for every trifling device, every shadow of a shade of an idea, which would naturally and spontaneously occur to any skilled mechanic or operator in the ordinary progress of manufactures. Such an indiscriminate creation of exclusive privileges tends rather to obstruct than to stimulate invention. It creates a class of speculative schemers who make it their business to watch the advancing wave of improvement, and gather its foam in the form of patented monopolies, which enable them to lay a heavy tax on the industry of the country, without contributing anything to the real advancement of the arts. It embarrasses the honest pursuit of business with fears and apprehensions of unknown liability lawsuits and vexatious accounting for profits made in good faith."
Now, if only big corporations (and the US Patent Office) understood it...
Saturday, January 08, 2005
I invented that!
I personally nurture a special interest in patents. They reflect the rare ability humans have to turn abstract things into profit.
It is with this in mind that I sadly report... someone beat me patenting the weel. By means of skilled word crafting, they managed to patent something that's been used by mankind (and hamsters) for ages.
Nicely done! :)
It is with this in mind that I sadly report... someone beat me patenting the weel. By means of skilled word crafting, they managed to patent something that's been used by mankind (and hamsters) for ages.
Nicely done! :)
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
Thank you Polland
Sometimes, the small make a dent in the big cake that is History.
Few people are currently aware of the decisive role Poland played in keeping Europe free of software patents.
We join the wave of cheers by saying "Thank you Poland".
Few people are currently aware of the decisive role Poland played in keeping Europe free of software patents.
We join the wave of cheers by saying "Thank you Poland".
Saturday, January 01, 2005
Butter face up!
We have a saying in our culture, which could be roughly translated to "If a poor man's bread with butter falls, the butter will be facing down".
We feel a bit more optimistic, and this blog was setup with the intention to have a laugh on things that affect us all, share knowledge and awareness over issues on our society that would be sad, weren't they so funny.
Of course, some would argue that we're doing none of that, but that's a different issue.
We feel a bit more optimistic, and this blog was setup with the intention to have a laugh on things that affect us all, share knowledge and awareness over issues on our society that would be sad, weren't they so funny.
Of course, some would argue that we're doing none of that, but that's a different issue.
